If you read my first post of the year, I mentioned that I’m being more cautious and taking my time to start my year. I usually begin the year by jumping in and making lists and plans. This year, I can’t seem to muster up the same enthusiasm. Maybe it’s the grey skies here (near Seattle) or because the first week of the year we lost a family pet, but I’m already over this year. Can I get a do over? Or refund? Or mulligan? Something…
In addition to my family’s pet bird dying, we’ve had a somewhat turbulent month. Some good, some bad, but the bad is bogging us down right now. It’s not just me. My whole family is dealing with terrible news.
We just found out that our seven-year-old cat has bone cancer. In her lower jaw. I’ll be honest when the vet told me, I was in complete disbelief (aka denial). One of my degrees is in veterinary nursing, so I immediately went home and pulled out textbooks and pulled up reliable veterinary medical websites to read anything and everything I could about it.
I was still in denial. I even pulled out the old x-ray pictures from our other cat to compare their x-rays. And I stared at those pictures a thousand times, and I was like, nope! I don’t see it. I think the doc is wrong.
And even after two days, I still refused to accept it. Then on the third morning, I was drinking my coffee and picked up the picture of our sick cat’s x-rays, and I saw it. I saw exactly what the doctor was talking about. Even though she had pointed to it when I was with her, it took about 48 hours and way too much looking at x-rays online for me to finally admit that I saw it. It was like a magic eye picture. Now that I see it, I wish I couldn’t.
We are still waiting for histology to confirm, but my whole family is in shock. We thought we’d have Rosie, our cat, for at least another decade or so. We’ve never had a pet die before it reached “senior” status. I know it can literally happen to anyone, at any age, but it’s terrifying and heart breaking. Sometimes knowing something and being able to accept it are two very different things that don’t coexist well together.
UPDATE: ROSIE DOES NOT HAVE CANCER!!!!! I am so happy right now. We finally got the histology back. She has a bone infection, which is still terrible, but very treatable!!! The doctor was almost giddy when she told me. Sometimes doctors don’t mind being wrong. I totally get that. I am unbelievably relieved.
Still Working on My Novel 
Sorry that your year has started off so poorly and since I know we can’t give you a do over or start over. I just pray and hope that things get better for you and all your pets and your family from here on out. I know how you feel about the enthusiasm and can’t get things going this year because of the gray skies where you live or the advanced event for this year about losing your pet and then finding out one has cancer now that I am older I feel like I get up every day and do pretty much the same things and I wouldn’t say that life is boring but I sure do miss being around all my family so many have passed away Being around my kids and grandkids who live all over the United States as we get older we see that the most important things in life don’t cost any money it’s being around your loved ones and spending time with them. Well here’s wishing things get better this year and thanks for sharing your story .